A Christmas Miracle
Twinkling lights hung with care, a balsam fir standing tall in the corner, and if it wasn’t Topanga, snow would certainly be flurrying just beyond the window. Quiet chatter floated over the crackling of a fireplace as an acoustic rendition of “Silver Bells” lulled below.
“Trump is the best thing to happen to this country,” is the phrase that broke through the Christmas cheer, prompting my eyes to slowly rise from the computer screen on my lap and search for the source from which such a statement came.
Couldn’t have been Iced White Mocha in the corner sorting flashcards, too busy balancing a hangover and impending chemistry test to care about politics. Double Shot Cappuccino at the other table also an unlikely candidate, too wrapped up in The New Yorker while sulking about the café’s lack of house-made almond milk.
The search came to a sudden halt as a different voice responded, “Oh absolutely. All this bullshit about Obama and living in a post-racial society has gone on long enough.”
This came from late twenties flannel-clad guy, legs outstretched and slouching on the couch to my left. Noticing the sudden increase of heads cocked in his direction daring him to go on, he lowered his voice, though continuing the conversation.
Still, this was not the Trump supporter’s voice from earlier. Who’s he talking to? Trump Voice interjects with a jolly chuckle, “Change the world, my ass. I think I found some change on the streets, still looking for that hope he talks about.”
Trying to be discrete, I look back at my laptop and sneak a glance up to identify the - Santa? Trump Voice is Santa? White beard, round belly, distant sound of jingle bells… But Santa wouldn’t support Trump. Santa supports women and champions equality.
“Obama was signing bills and making calls on Christmas Eve. What is he doing signing shit on Christmas Eve? What kind of an example is that, doesn’t he have a family?”
What’s he doing on Christmas Eve? Ending wars. Providing health care. Lowering the unemployment rate. Fighting climate change, perhaps? What did Trump Voice Claus do on Christmas Eve?
Flannel shirt chimed in, “And Pence, that’ll help him out. Have you heard about what he says you can do with the gays? He says we can get rid of them with some kind of therapy or something.”
A tangible tension-filled cringe ran through the café. What he can do with the gays? Conversion therapy. Right. The electroshock therapy designed to turn teenagers straight. Lets add that to the agenda.
Silence stood in the air, waiting for Santa’s response, sure to be either a moment of redemption or a tinsel-covered downfall.
“There are some people that just can’t wrap their minds around the fact that maybe a psychopath is going to president, and maybe it’ll be great.
Well, then. Looks like we’ll be needing more than just a Christmas miracle this year.